Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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