if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
