im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
