Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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