I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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