I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Send help, water and tortillas.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
