I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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