i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
