I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
