My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Randomize
