Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
