Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
