The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize