I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
