when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
