remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
