'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
