peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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