then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
