I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just pee around me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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