And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
sex in a hospital.. check
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
