Will you blow on my dice?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
