I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I FOUND THE LEGS
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize