Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
