i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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