hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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