Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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