I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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