okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize