After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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