So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
