This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize