community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I had to cum in my sink.
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