Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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