this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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