Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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