Say something about gay babies.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
