Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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