If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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