I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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