I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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