I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
