Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize