it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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