if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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