And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize