if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
