I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
