we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
