mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
