why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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