we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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