I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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