Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
