i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize