dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
