Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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