cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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