At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
