Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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