I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
