I skipped work to stalk him.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
