I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
