I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
