i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
