Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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