Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's official drugs can't kill me
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize