oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize