question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
