also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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