That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
